Kasia April 23rd, 2007
One of my job duties is managing our alumni travel program. Our director picks 10 – 15 tours we’re going to sponsor, and we advertise them with their nifty group-travel rates to our alumni and friends. It’s one of the benefits of alumni association membership.
A couple of years ago, just a few months after I’d started working here, I had a woman reserve for a tour who didn’t have a roommate. That’s not uncommon. However, since the prices are based on double occupancy, a single traveler either needs to get matched with another single traveler (same gender only) or pay a single supplement, which in my experience ranges from $300 – $800 on top of the tour price.
Some people prefer to travel singly. A lot of others don’t want to pay the single supplement. I’m not bothered by either preference – just tell me what you want, and I’ll do my best to accommodate.
Anyway, so a couple of years ago this woman wanted a roommate. We had another single female traveler who hadn’t specifically requested being matched, so I said I’d call her and see if she was willing to consider it. Like I said, some people really don’t want a roommate.
When I called the second woman, a dear little 80-something, she listened very carefully to my explanation of why I was calling, and then said:
“Well, you can certainly give her my phone number, and I’m willing to room with her, but just make sure she knows that I’m black!” She went on to explain that she travels to have fun and enjoy herself, and she didn’t want things to be awkward by sharing with someone who was uncomfortable with her.
While I was pretty sure that the other woman wouldn’t mind – partly because I was pretty sure the other woman was black too – I agreed to pass on the message and hung up. I called the first woman, and told her (through significant embarrassment and as tactfully as I could muster) what I had been instructed to tell her. She seemed surprised, but said that she was black too, and it wouldn’t be a problem.
More than being embarrassed, I was profoundly sad for that 80-something woman. I was so sad to think of what she must have experienced in her life. At the same time I had to respect her for being so straightforward and no-nonsense about it – she knew that there were probably still people who would be bothered by sharing a room with someone of another race, and while she no doubt didn’t like it, she was not going to let it bother her. She just didn’t want it to ruin her trip.
Fast-forward to today, when I received a reservation for one of our tours with a request for a roommate. I had spoken with the woman (let’s call her Mrs. X) on the phone last week, and she really wanted a roommate. I checked the list and told her that she was in luck; that there was another single woman (Mrs. Y) traveling who had requested a roommate, and that as soon as I received Mrs. X’s reservation I would call Mrs. Y and get her permission to give Mrs. X her name and phone number so they could talk to each other and decide if they wanted to room together.
So I spoke with Mrs. Y today, and she was as sweet as could be. She agreed to my giving out her contact information, and we hung up so I could call Mrs. X.
Mrs. X wrote down the name and phone number, and then said:
“Oh…”
{insert pregnant pause}
“I’m not prejudiced or anything, BUT…
“She’s not black, is she?”
{Oh, horror! Perish the thought!}
“…I just notice that it’s a Detroit number…”
So I, taking a deep breath and reminding myself that Mrs. X, just as much as Mrs. Y, is a dearly beloved child of God and was created in His image and likeness, and mustering as much self-control and professionalism as I could, said:
“Actually, I think she might be.”
{I did refrain from adding “But since you’re not prejudiced, that’s not an issue, right?”}
Silence.
“Well…” said Mrs. X, “I suppose it can’t hurt to call her…” {with a very dubious tone}
At first I wasn’t sure what to pray for. Now I think I know.
Lord, please help me to not judge Mrs. X by the phone conversation we had. Grant that she may call Mrs. Y , be courteous to her, and be moved by Mrs. Y’s kindness. May she judge Mrs. Y not by the color of her skin or by her area code, but by her gentle spirit and love. Above all, I pray that she not hurt Mrs. Y by telling her about her misgivings. And I pray that you will give Mrs. Y, and me, the grace to represent you lovingly and selflessly to Mrs. X and anyone else we encounter. This I ask, through Christ our Lord. Amen.
