The Clam Rampant

Kasia May 4th, 2007

Oy vei.

So I know that Friday penance of some sort is mandatory. In the U.S., it is not required to be abstinence from meat, but that’s the traditional penance. However, someone recently pointed out to me that giving up meat, especially for one day, is hardly a huge sacrifice for most Americans. This individual thought that what the Pope should do is order American (and Canadian, and Western European) Catholics to give up pop (including diet) and sweets each Friday.

That struck me as a much more appropriate penance for me, as I have a sweet tooth the size of Rhode Island. So I decided to implement it today.

However, when I went to lunch I felt inexplicably guilty about the prospect of eating meat. Must be leftover Lenten sensibility. So I had a meatless, popless, sweetless lunch.

Now I’m sitting at my desk jonesing for a Pepsi. And when I say ‘jonesing’…well, it hasn’t gotten to body-wracking physical cravings yet, but I have this nagging headache that would probably disappear in two shakes if I could only give myself a sugar-and-caffeine boost.

So now I’m finding myself wondering if, since I haven’t had meat yet today, I could just say now that meat is my penance and go suck down a pop. Probably not.

But I am beginning to think that next Friday, abstaining from meat will be sufficient penance. I’m still developing the penitential habit, after all; me going without pop as penance is like a two-year-old running the Boston Marathon. Well, no. That’s me giving up pop for Lent. But it is like a two-year-old doing something that involves a lot of muscle development that they don’t have yet. Don’t ask me for a good analogy right now; I’m in withdrawal. The only reason I’m not snarling and throwing things at passersby is that I made sure to eat a proper (if meatless) lunch, so my blood sugar hasn’t totally crashed.

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