Pastoral transition blues
Kasia September 2nd, 2007
Today is September 2. That means that Fr. JJ has been at St. A’s for two months. I still have not been able to catch a Sunday morning Mass with him.
Now, I have been spending a lot of Sundays in Canada. And what do you know, but the Canuck and I found a parish in Chatham that does not feature Mass accompaniment by Peter, Paul and Mary. (It’s the Polish parish. Evidently we Poles like our worship traditional.) So hurrah and huzzah! Deo gratias!
However, each time I have gone to St. A’s for Mass, someone else has been the celebrant. Usually it’s Fr. Stanley (whom I love dearly); at Fr. JJ’s installation Mass it was the Moderator of the Curia. That was a great Mass, don’t get me wrong. The guy’s a great celebrant. But if I may whine for a moment (and who am I kidding - of course I may - it’s just a question of whether you’ll keep reading if I do), I have been wanting to see Fr. JJ actually celebrate a non-Life Teen Mass or two so I can adjust to his liturgical style. I knew going into it that he would be different than Fr. John. And that’s OK. I don’t need a Fr. John clone. What I do need, however, is to stop feeling like I’m still hanging out in the breeze. I need to be able to move forward, whether it’s at St. A’s or at another parish. I still feel almost as torn up and conflicted as I did those first few weeks in July. The only real improvement for me has been in being assured by a friend who has been out there visiting that Fr. John really needed to be at OLGC, that it’s a great fit for him. That was helpful; I appreciated having confirmation that he’s where he needs to be.
But it hasn’t helped with my feeling of being…well, to be a little melodramatic, a bit of a spiritual orphan. And in a weird way it’s like I have a stepfather whom I’ve barely had a chance to get to know. I know that he loves my mother, and I know that my mother loves him, but I barely know him, and I can’t adjust to him without getting to know him.
I’ve had assurances from many people, all of whose opinions I respect immensely, that he’s a good guy. In fact, every indicator points to his being a great guy. And my couple of brief encounters with him have given me that distinct impression too. I know he’s a good guy. But it isn’t just a question of what kind of guy he is. It’s also a question of what kind of priest he is. No matter how good and kind he is, no matter how highly his fellow priests think of him, no matter whatever…my primary interaction with my priest is always going to be in the context of the Mass. And by all accounts I’ve heard, the priest at my territorial parish is a good-hearted and well-liked man as well, but I’m still not going back to that parish as long as Garth Brooks and barbershop remain on the Order of the Mass.
Ah well. I have an appointment with the DRE at my parish this week. I’m hoping she can give some perspective. If not…well, we’ll take that as it comes.
God bless,
The Clam
