Talk about the wrong focus…
Kasia November 14th, 2007
So being the hyper-Martha that I am wont to be about such things, I’ve been cruising looking for wedding planning information. (I especially need to be proactive and hyper-Martha because we’re on a tight budget.)
Take a look at this.
The Canuck and I are really working hard at focusing on the sacrament and the marriage rather than the wedding (even though I’ve already had a few borderline psychotic moments where I was clicking and printing like…well, a madwoman). Riddle me this: in what bizarre parallel universe should you have selected your site, caterer, videographer, photographer, florist, and musicians, PLUS registered for gifts, before you start thinking about your officiant?
I know I’m coming at this from a different perspective than many people do, in that I know rootin’-tootin’ well that I want to be married in the Church and which priest(s) I would like to have officiate, and the main decision is whether to have the wedding at my parish or my confessor’s parish. But think about this: Catholic marriage prep is a minimum of six months. Over a quarter of the population of this country identifies as Catholic, and a lot of other denominations have marriage prep too. Why is the officiant - the person who’s going to facilitate your marriage - only decided on AFTER you’ve chosen your site?
(I know, I know. So that Catholics - or others - who want to get married on the beach, in a cute little gazebo, in a glade in the woods, or at the Masonic Temple can disqualify anyone who’s unwilling to do that.)
My inner cynic is rearing her ugly head…
Maybe because many people want to be married in their home parish, amongst the community of pilgrims that they are a part of, and which particular priest joins them in this covenant isn’t necessarily a major factor? So site matters more?
For me, it’s the person. I supposed if he were pastor of the first Catholic church to be on the moon, you all would have to take a shuttle flight to attend my wedding, ‘cuz that’s where I’d be…. But, that’s solely a trust issue on my part. The real answer is that it shouldn’t matter who the priest is as long as he’s Catholic, since he’s in personae Christi, and GOD should be your focus…. Hmmm…. Something to think about while I am waiting for God to deliver a mate to me….
8-9 years ago, I used theknot.com for much of my planning. They had a budget tool where you could punch in your total and then your estimate for each item, along with adding some or deleting items that weren’t applicable. I liked just to play with it as well as real use.
This is going to be long, so please forgive.
As far as officiant… I grew up wanting Father McGoldrick because he was the original pastor at my home parish. He baptized me, gave me First Communion, first confession, the whole schtick. When he retired in 1988, I was saddened by it for that reason.
When the time came for us to be married 11 years later, I didn’t even really think about the officiant. I presumed it would be the head pastor. When his RSVP came back that he’d be in Poland at the time, I was stunned. Our associate pastor had been there for only a few months (so we didn’t know him) and had a pronounced Polish accent. I come from the only Catholic family in Warren that’s neither Polish nor Italian, and husband-to-be’s family isn’t even Catholic. What to do?!
My mother understood and told me to pull Father McGoldrick out of retirement, he didn’t leave for Florida until Thanksgiving, et cetera.
He was available and even remembered me from being an altar server, and forgave Dale for not being Irish. Turned out he wasn’t available for the rehearsal, as the other couple getting married that weekend also asked him to officiate. But I got the priest I’d grown up wanting to marry me.
That’s my officiant story.
WOW. That’s a heckuva story!
Did you know Fr. McGoldrick actually has a CD out? I guess he plays harmonica along with a piano or something. I think it was available through Our Lady Star of the Sea, as it supported their LifeTeen or other youth program…
When Bear and I married, 14 years and some odd months ago. We contacted the priest first. He was the one who said, “It would be easier to confirm a date for the reception Hall first, that will establish the date, andthen come back and we’ll set atime for the Nuptial Mass. It’s easier for me to fit in a Nuptial Mass, than you to book a reception.
But we still contacted him first. Here in the Archdiocese of Toronto, the Priest needs to be consulted a year before the wedding date.