Kasia January 30th, 2008
I posted before about my difficulties finding a modest wedding dress, particularly one with sleeves. Some people came forward with some excellent suggestions. Here’s the update.
One person (my cousin) suggested resale shops. It’s actually a great idea, except that it’s got a very high time investment with a very low chance of actually finding a dress that I like that will be in my size. If Upscale Resale kept their inventory on the web, I’d be there in a heartbeat. As it is, I’ve picked over some online consignment-type sites – nothing so far.
Several others suggested having a dress made. Not a bad idea – in fact, a very good one - except that (a) I haven’t found a lot of patterns that fit what I want, and (b) I’m having some trouble finding a good seamstress.
I’ve scoured online resources for modest bridal wear.
I’ve been to a couple of local bridal shops. Thing is, I’d have to take a dress that was designed to be worn, say, strapless or with spaghetti straps, and have it built up to include shoulders and sleeves. It’s really hard for my inexperienced eyes to tell how a strapless dress on a model will look on me with shoulders and sleeves. Furthermore, irrespective of whether I take that route or the bolero option, I am paying multiple hundreds of dollars for a dress that I will only wear once and that is not really what I want. This defies common sense.
I have found a beautiful – stunning, in fact – dress that fits my specs just about perfectly. Go here and look at the model on the left. Don’t bother browsing through the pages – it’s not listed for sale on the site. However, I’ve been in discussions with the proprietress of the site, who also designed the dress, and have gotten a price for the dress without the train. However, it’s more than I was planning to spend, and based on what I see in the structure of the dress, it looks to me like it will be very difficult to hem (there’s embroidery around the bottom too, which I don’t mind losing, but what if the proper length is halfway through the embroidery?). So I may have to pay for alterations rather than having a seamstress friend do it, which really puts it out of my budget. However, I’m still in discussions with the owner, and we’ll see what happens.
I’d like to take a moment to say something on behalf of my fellow brides-to-be, to all of you out there who are already married, have entered consecrated life in some form, or who are still discerning:
GO EASY ON THE BRIDES YOU SEE. You see a bride wearing a strapless or halter dress in a church and want to know how she can bring herself to wear that in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament? Well, she may not have wanted to. I’ve talked to several other brides-to-be who went in wanting something more modest than what they got. Yes, they ultimately made the decision to buy the less modest dress, and maybe they even like it. But if you come right down to it, unless you or someone you know (well) can sew exceptionally well, you have to look long and hard for modest dresses. In many cases you have to pay more than you would have to for a standard dress, which puts it out of some peoples’ budgets. In short, you have to be really, really, REALLY committed to it. And frankly, a lot of people don’t have the time, the energy, or the determination to stick to something like this as long and as hard as you have to to get it done.
And don’t even get me started on bridesmaid dresses…
