Tax time and the Clam – whine session
Kasia March 3rd, 2008
Tax season does two things to me. First, it stirs up my normally-dormant terror of numbers, and makes my head spin with visions of being financially sodomized by the IRS and sent off to debtors’ prison to break rocks next to Tiny Tim and the bad guys from the Disney Robin Hood movie. I had that more or less under control until I bought a home and started itemizing deductions. Now I’m back to panic attacks; so since my father takes a well-deserved two-month vacation to Florida every February and March (hmm, wonder if the timing is intentional?), I’ve started going to a professional tax preparer, and will for a couple of years or so. Once the baseline is re-established, I might switch back to TurboTax.
The other thing tax season does to me, now that I’m itemizing deductions, is brings out my inner whiner. I do try to keep my inner brat in check most of the time, but what I’ve discovered as I’ve been cross-checking my receipts and digging through my checking account for documentation of things like co-pays and gifts to organizations that didn’t bother to send me a receipt (*cough* you know who you are *cough*), she comes out with a vengeance. I find myself coming up with all sorts of things that SHOULD be deductible, darn it, even if Uncle Sam McStinkypants doesn’t think they should be. WAAAAAHHH!
(Note that my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek. Please don’t think I would necessarily advocate these write-offs as a matter of public policy!)
For example, a few years ago when the OMB decided that credit cards were doing bad things to people by having unreasonably low payments – and I appreciate why that’s bad, mind you – and decided to rectify it by recommending higher payments, I decided that if Uncle Sam reeeeeally wanted to help Joe American get out of credit card debt, there should be a tax incentive for paying down your principal, or some sort of partial interest write-off, or some such. I’m sure with all the brains in Washington, they could come up with something.
Well. Digging through my checking account, I was reminded of that, and I came up with some more:
- Utilities. Come on. With how fuel prices have gone up – and will continue to go up – over the past several years, don’t you think Uncle Sam could give us some kind of break on this? I mean, utilities are quite possibly the most boring – and most ignored – of all basic bills. People who actually pay them, and on time no less, should get some kind of carrot for doing so. (Yes, I mean above and beyond not having them shut off. It’s enough to make me pay them, but it’s not enough to make me like it!)
- On a related note, gas to drive to and from work. We’re up at $3/gallon now, and they’re projecting $4/gallon for the summer. Since I live in Detroit, the belly of the automotive whale, and giving adequate funding to buses (much less building some other public transit network) is tantamount to treason, I think we should get some kind of break. Don’t you?
- Cat litter. For Pete’s sake, Uncle Sam, my cats aren’t smart enough to use the toilet. Doesn’t that count as some kind of disability? Let’s not discriminate against Feline-Americans here! They need SOMEthing to poop in!
- Anything paid to the government, including the ginormous application fee for the Canuck’s K-1 visa application. Is it my fault I fell in love with a foreigner? Don’t discriminate! Give me a write-off!
- Car and home insurance. Yes, they’re good things to have; but the law forces me to have the former, and the mortgage company forces me to have the latter. And that ranks up there with utilities as un-fun things. I think anything un-fun should be at least partially deductible as a matter of principle. Including my condo association fees. Come to think of it, with how useless my association proved to be over the last year or so, I’m thinking those should count as a charitable gift to the management company…
I did warn you that this was a whiny post. Don’t worry. Once I’ve seen my tax guy, and have found out how much of my money I’m going to get back, I’ll probably snap right back to normal.
On the other hand, if I’m not getting as much back as I think I should, I may end up in a bunker somewhere in Montana, eating cold canned soup and talking to myself…
You could always move to Canuckistan (otherwise known as Canada) where you have to pay even MORE taxes than you do now.
Is “pay even more taxes” grammatically correct? It doesn’t sound right to me, but I couldn’t think of a better alternative …
Oh no, now you’ve made me panic about my taxes which my mom is supposed to be doing for me. Next year I’m paying my thirty bucks and going to H&R Block. Yeah I know getting taxes done in a mall is kind of stupid but i would end up burning my tax forms in a fit of rage if I did it myself.
I haven’t started my taxes. I have to find all my deduction slips first. Argh!
Julia, unless you’ve got some secret wealth stashed away somewhere that would complicate your forms, bring your taxes to me and I’ll do them for you for half what H&R Block charges. My, how I miss the days when I could file a 1040-EZ…
Jean – I feel your pain. This year was easier because I found a great multi-section basket at IKEA and threw everything into one section as it arrived, but frankly, Lord forbid the IRS audit anything prior to last year, because I seriously doubt I could find the paperwork…
Incidentally, in case anyone was wondering, I got them done. It’s bunker time. Anyone got some soup?
This year I’m using my mom but next year I’m going to be in Traverse City. I think NMC stole my soul so I need to reclaim it or at least raise my GPA.
“It profit not a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul; but for Wales?”
There’s got to be a way to tweak that classic from St. Thomas More to talk about grade points…
huh? i really should win an award for maintaining an overall GPA under 3.0 for about ten years. Although I suspect NMC screwed up since I really should have a higher overall GPA.
The line I quoted is attributed to St. Thomas More, who was executed by King Henry VIII. It was very well dramatized in the movie A Man For All Seasons – check it out sometime.
The context was that St. (then Sir) Thomas would not sign what was essentially a loyalty oath to the King, acknowledging the King as the lawful head of the English Church (which he had just declared himself to be), and affirming the King’s marriage to Anne Boleyn (which was the catalyst that made the King declare himself the head of the English Church).
As it’s done in the movie, St. Thomas is eventually convicted of treason on false testimony. The man who gave the false testimony did so to get a position at Court, which he did: Attorney General for Wales. That prompted St. Thomas to say what I quoted above.
I just thought it was apropos, since you were talking about having lost your soul at NMC.
Why should you have a higher overall GPA? Have you calculated it and come up with something different than what they have?
oh. and that is probably why i spent four years at a community college.
I’m pretty sure that because my semester GPAs have been pretty average, close to a 3.0, I should have a higher GPA. and if I’m wrong, I’ve got a lot of classes to retake. I’m not even sure how they calculate it at NMC.
Hm. Well, I’ve gotten pretty good at calculating GPAs. If you want, we could sit down with your transcript and I could calculate it. It’s usually pretty standard; all we’d need would be the list of your classes with the grades you earned, and the number of credits each was worth. (And it wouldn’t hurt if we could use a computer, because Excel really makes it easy!)
Following up on that last comment I made, I’ll firm up the offer: if you want me to calculate your GPA, get your transcript together and you can come over for a while on a Saturday or Sunday – I’m sure we can come up with one that we can both manage. Just don’t laugh too much at how big Dodge is. He’s sensitive about that. :-p
I will consider this. I thought I knew how, like finding an average but I was wrong I think. At least I like finding averages so when I have that eventual stats class I might enjoy it. I know already I’m going to have to take a stats class.
and fat cats are my favorites. dizzy is getting pretty plump and you know that looks funny on him.
http://barristrix.blogspot.com/2008/03/parable-meme.html
Tag!
Back in the Dark Ages when I was in college there were several ways “they” calculated my GPA.
There was the standard way (total number of grade points / # of classes taken (”A”= 4, “B” = 3, etc.). Then there was a “weighted” average (Grade Point * Units for class / # of units taken). This would give the “more difficult” classes (i.e. those with higher unit counts) greater effect on the GPA (ie. an “A” in a 4 unit class was more “valuable” than aa “A” in a 3 unit class). Also, when transfering units some “powers that be” will discount some classes so that “A” you got in “Shopping at Pottery Barn” won’t count as much as that “C” you got in Nuclear Chemistry.