In which the Clam engages in a moment of self-loathing
Kasia July 16th, 2008
I often eat lunch at my desk. Which isn’t a big deal in and of itself. Sometimes I leave the door open, and other times I close it, because I do occasionally get tired of people poking their heads in to ask me to do X, Y or Z when I’ve got my mouth full of turkey sandwich or baby carrots.
However, my habit of eating at my desk creates some uncertainty with respect to when, exactly, I am working and not working. As a rule, I try to flex with the system as much as I can - I appreciate that it flexes with me. I mean, I like being shut in my office to recharge, not have to socialize with my co-workers (not that I don’t like them, but I do like some down time), and catch up on my personal Internet use. So if I get a work-related e-mail, I usually skim it and see if it’s pressing. If my boss really needs me, he can always knock.
Phones, however, present more of a challenge in that for all intents and purposes, I do not have caller ID. So it’s always a gamble when I pick up the phone on my lunch: is this pressing? Can I resolve it reasonably quickly? Or is this going to be the effective end of my lunch? I have the same problem to a lesser degree at home, but since 99% of my calls come from either immediate family, the Canuck, or telemarketers, I have no qualms about continuing to eat if the conversation is lasting longer than the heat of my food.
Anyway, today I’d had several interruptions already: someone insistently ringing the front doorbell of the office building, despite the sign announcing that the office is closed from 12 to 1 for lunch, a phone call from a telemarketer, and at least one other phone call. So when the phone rang AGAIN, I glared at it, said “NO!”, and continued eating.
So then I check my voicemail, and it’s one of our students. His mother just died and he wanted me to get an e-mail out to the group about it.
Hand, meet forehead. Clam, you’re a jerk.
(Not really - it’s not like I *knew* that that’s who was calling, or why. I just am having one of those irrational “stupid me” moments. It’ll pass.)
I realize that you’re going to say, “But I was sitting right beside the phone and explicitly said I wasn’t going to answer it”, but I’m going to say this anyway - I don’t see that there’s much difference between you choosing not to answer the phone during your lunch hour (when you’re having lunch in your office) and not answering the phone because you were out of the office having lunch.
Plus, it’s not as if you answered the phone, shouted “NO!” into the receiver and hung up …
As an almost “pro” at the self-loathing — I understand completely. HUG! You poor thing. You are not a jerk. Also you should listen to the Canuck cuz he’s wise!
Not only do I agree with him on this but I have something to add.
Try to think of it this way…
Put yourself in his shoes, if it were you and you were the one who had to notify people with this news, would it not be easier to leave a message on a voicemail than to actually have to speak to someone?
I know if it were me, I’d be a wreck and it would be SO much easier to remain calm and not fall apart while leaving a message rather than have to talk to somebody. It just seems like it’s so much harder to keep it together while someone is being sympathetic - even though I appreciate their sympathy…
Perhaps it would have been much harder on this student to have to tell you — maybe this was GRACE.
Does that make any sense or help at all?
Sending another hug anyway for good measure. Try not to beat yourself up too badly!
Okay, It was your lunch hour. And lunch hours mean one complete hour where, if you choose, no work is done, or in some cases even considered.
I have a friend, I’ll call me Greg, who takes his lunch very seriously. His rule is that he wants 1 complete hour for his lunch and in that hour he does NO work. If someone finds him on the premises (say the staff room) and even asks him a work related question, he used to begin his hour again. His lunch was beginning to “last” all afternoon, because “work” was constantly interrupting his lunch hour. Everyone (including his “boss”) has learned to leave him alone when he says, “I’m on lunch until such and such time”
I mean I call him Greg.
and darn the smileys - that should read
“(including his boss )”
You are not a jerk. A real jerk would have called him back, told him you ignored the phone because you on lunch, and ask him to dictate the news - including cause of death - so you could quickly type up the e-mail he wanted.
I have worked with jerks, Kasia. You are not even an amateur jerk.
I have worked with jerks, Kasia. You are not even an amateur jerk.
Nertz - I guess I will have to work harder.
Thanks very much for the boosters, y’all. I’m gettin’ all aw-shucksy…
Definitely not a jerk, my friend. I routinely come in late and deliberately work through lunch (best time to get stuff done without interruption) and I always do the same thing with the phone - in fact, last Friday I missed a call from a dr. who I’ve been harassing by phone and mail to call and chat with me about a case I’m working on. I didn’t see the caller id until after the voicemail got it, but I was annoyed that he called during lunch (probably his only break in the day, it occurred to me afterwards), expecting we’d answer when his office certainly doesn’t. So I decided not to pick up and instead resolved to call him back after 1:00, using much the same rationale you did.
At 1:30, I called and the receptionist said I’d just missed him, and he would not be back until the end of August because he was doing mission work in Africa for 30 days, then taking a 2-week vacation before the kids got back into school.
Pond, I am thy scum.
So the moral is, if you think you suck (which you don’t), I’m here to tell ya I suck worse - I could’ve picked up!