Archive for December, 2008

Of a Wednesday morning with little to do

Kasia December 31st, 2008

Well, that’s not true, actually. I have plenty that I could do.

But my beloved is in the shower, and I am in my fleecy robe and jammies, sipping a Coke and wondering how I should spend the rest of the morning. I have to admit, “very little” sounds very good; it’s rare that I have a not-too-busy day to sit around and daydream.

Canuck, TBS and I all went to IKEA together last night. It felt like we’d bought out the store! We got a new TV stand that will better accommodate all the electronic gadgets he brought; we got him one of those funky Poang chairs that he’s wanted for years, which is a Christmas gift from me; we got him a desk chair, which is his Christmas gift from his mother; and he splurged a little and got me a drying rack that I’d wanted for ages but had never found anywhere until IKEA came to town.

You are officially old when a drying rack seems like a fantastic gift.

We’ve also gone ahead and purchased a new stove, which should be delivered Friday. I will, unfortunately, be back at work by then; but assuming they deliver it before about 4 p.m., he can have a nice dinner waiting for me when I get home.  :-)   I have already begun the “Honey-Do list” of things he can be working on during the days while I’m working; and with his help, I am thinking I will go back to riding the bus in the mornings. I’m terrible about getting out of bed, which means I drive nine days out of ten. (I will still have to drive one, maybe two days out of five, but if I can reduce the wear and tear on that poor old car, doggonnit, I will.)

Tonight we have plans to go to a New Year’s party in Rochester, unless of course the weather turns nasty – it’s a long drive on what my mother calls “Amateur Night,” and if bad roads get thrown into the mix, I might chicken out. I hope not, though; I’m quite looking forward to it!

Funny story before I sign off for the moment: yesterday we went to go meet with the priest who’s celebrating our nuptial Mass, and he was telling us (in his Slovak accent) how he, his associate pastor, and his former associate pastor were all riding together out to Toronto for a fellow priest’s birthday party. They get to Canadian Customs and are being asked the usual questions: where do you live, where are you going, whose car is this, what do you do for a living.

Three Slovak citizens in a car together. Illinois plates on the car (the former associate pastor is now at a parish in Chicago). Two say they live in the Detroit area, one in Chicago. Going to Toronto for a birthday party.

“What’s your job?”

“Saving souls.”

Customs agent looks at them – I’m surmising they weren’t wearing their Roman collars, but he didn’t say one way or the other whether they were. Customs agent writes “Saving souls” down on the yellow referral form and sends them straight to Secondary for further questioning.

These are the times that try Customs agents’ souls…kind of like when I told the U.S. border agent I’d bought a “missal”. I recommend saying “book”, if you are ever faced with that situation…  :-p

Settling in

Kasia December 28th, 2008

We moved him over here on Friday. All things considered, it was a reasonably uneventful move: apart from a bit of a mix-up at the bridge, everything went swimmingly. And really, the bridge issue was more of an inconvenience than a problem – the bridge employee directing traffic saw that we were in a U-Haul truck and sent us over to the commercial lanes. Because, you know, trucks go to the truck side. Except that an engaged couple bringing the fiancé over on a K-1 visa with his stuff in a U-Haul is not commercial traffic, and the immigration officer we finally ended up seeing had, in his words “done maybe two of these when I was training, with someone standing over my shoulder telling me what to staple and what to stamp.” So he called over to the main traffic area of the bridge, which sent over a more experienced immigration officer, and from then on it was smooth sailing.

Unloading was even smoother than loading, because we had three times as many people. It probably took about 15 minutes all told, and just as we finished, the pizzas arrived. Beautiful!

Since then, we’ve been trying to get him settled in (and me re-settled, and the cats de-freaked from all the chaos). I’ve been primarily occupying myself with unpacking his DVDs and books. It’s interesting to see what questions come up. Like: “What do we do with the duplicate books we have (i.e. Harry Potter 6 and 7)? How about the near-duplicates (i.e. the previous Harry Potter books, of which I have the U.S. editions and he has the Canadian, which are basically the British editions)? And can I sneak his copy of Bill Clinton’s ego-treatise into the trash without him noticing?”

(The answers, in order: “Give away the more-worn copy; we’re not sure yet; and I’m not going to try, because after all, he is not scheming to pitch my copy of The Purpose-Driven Life or Dick DeVos’ book Rediscovering American Values.” I am still debating about whether The Catcher in the Rye merits shelf space or should be relegated to his desk drawer…)

Anyway. So we’re moving right along. There’s only been one near-mishap involving a cat and his computer thus far; I’m thinking we’re going to need to keep the top of his desk pretty much clear to minimize the risk of further issues. We’re going to run to Home Depot in a little while, and we’re hoping to get to IKEA during the break; a friend’s husband just came over and the two of them lugged out a Seventies-riffic couch bed that my predecessor had left in the basement. I’d like to get a nice laundry table to put down there, and IKEA had a likely candidate last time I was there. Plus we need a new TV stand, and we’re going to look for a shoe rack while we’re there. Fun times.

(Actually, they are.)

So today I need to announce my yesterday’s and today’s updates to the Jaibee Challenge.

YESTERDAY: T minus 28 days and counting. I considered rhapsodizing about how he’d stuck it out and shopped like a trooper when TBS and I dragged him out (he’s a sniper shopper and we took him on a marathon), but that goes back to the first day’s challenge (being self-sacrificing). Instead, I’ll say that I really love his practicality. You have no idea how much stuff the guy pared down before he moved here.

TODAY: I love that he’s not ashamed of his faith. He’s not – probably never will be – one of those people who announces it as a matter of course. He’s much more reserved than that. But when the rubber meets the road…how many times, over the last week, when he got nervous about the move (which was several times at least), did he remind both of us that God is in charge, not us? Many. That’s just one example – there are many more – but it’s enough for me.

Have a blessed Feast of the Holy Family – more tomorrow!

He’s here!!!

Kasia December 26th, 2008

Just a quick note for the Jaibee Challenge today…more later in the weekend when we’ve had a chance to settle him in a little bit.

Jaibee Countdown Challenge for whatever day this is (day 5? t minus 28 days and counting?):

I love that he is here!!!!! Does that count? If not, um…here’s one. I love that he was so consarned anal retentive about the immigration paperwork. It may have seemed like overkill at the time (well, not so much to me, because I’m always a little paranoid too), but him doing as much homework as he did made things a lot easier for us when we crossed the border with him. There were still some hiccups, but they weren’t our fault, which makes Immigration much more pleasant and friendly to deal with.

Happy Boxing Day!!!

Jaibee Challenge – Day 4

Kasia December 25th, 2008

Day Four of the Jaibee Challenge = T minus 30 days and counting.

I love how good he is at figuring out logistics. I’m tolerable at logistics, but it’s not one of my natural gifts – it’s something I have to work at. For him, it’s second nature. And it helps that he is a passionate lover of maps.

I love you, my logistics-and-transit-geek sweetie!!!

Day 3 and Move Update

Kasia December 24th, 2008

First, Day 3 of the Jaibee Challenge, which will of necessity be brief. I’m going to go with a superficial point here, but I don’t remember Jaibee saying that it couldn’t be a physical characteristic…

I love his eyes. He has the prettiest blue-green eyes I’ve ever seen. I actually commented on them (amid much embarrassment on both sides) on our first date, and I’ve not been able to get enough of them since. He’s a good-looking guy to begin with, and those eyes…[blush]

As for our status right now, TBS very generously saved me time, trudging through snow, and bus fare by dropping me off at the Greyhound station this morning. I caught the Greyhound to Chatham, we went and picked up the U-Haul (that was quite the experience – the guy waiting on us was in no hurry to begin with, was clearly not computer savvy, and had very little experience with the U-Haul rental software – but we got it, and that’s what matters), and Friday morning we’ll be loading up and moving him across the border. Meanwhile we have Christmas with his family…SO, apart from Jaibee Challenge updates, I probably will not be posting much until Friday or Saturday.

Merry Christmas and Happy (secular) New Year to you and yours – I hope the joy of the newborn King overwhelms each and every one of you.

Jaibee challenge Day 2

Kasia December 23rd, 2008

Day 2 (T minus 32 days and counting) of the Jaibee Challenge. What shall I tell you about the Canuck today that I really appreciate?

Here’s one: I really love and appreciate that (a) he keeps me grounded, but (b) he doesn’t freak out when I’m scattered.

Let me ’splain…no, there is too much. Let me sum up.

I’ve got this bad habit of overcommitting myself and then flying from place to place, never getting everything done and not doing anything as well as it deserves. It’s something I learned from my mother, and it’s reinforced by an unfortunate quote of Don Bosco’s that I love: “First tell the Devil to rest, and then I will.”

But you can see how, in my case, that translates into a bad habit. Don Bosco was either much more industrious than I am (entirely possible), much more disciplined than I am (entirely probable), and/or much more organized than I am (again, very probable). And maybe his guardian angel picked up some slack or something. I dunno. But I’m not him.

Canuck keeps me honest in this area. I can always count on him to give me a reality check. It sounds something like this:

CANUCK: “Honey, are you sure you can handle all this?”

CLAM: “What?! Of course! I’ve got it covered – I just have to do this, this, this and this – oh, and stop here on my way to thus-and-such – and I should really throw a load of laundry in, because I’m out of clean underpants and I don’t want to start wearing dirty ones or going commando [insert a brief flicker of a leer on Canuck's face at the latter thought] – but it’s good. I’m good. I’ve got it handled.

“…but you know, tomorrow I promised to do that thing for So-and-So, and I’ve got Catechism too, so it’s going to be pretty tight getting all that done, and when am I going to have time to move the laundry along? Ack! I need more hours in the day!!!”

CANUCK: [gently, and not making any sudden movements] “You know…Sweetie…I know you really want to do all of that, but…”

…and before you know it, my week has been chopped down into manageable bites, I am crossing the unnecessary items off my to-do list (like do I really need to be baking my own bread when I’m running out of underwear?), and everything suddenly is, if not hunky-dory, at least a lot better than it was before I talked to him.

In other words: he keeps me sane. Saner, anyway.

I love you, Sweetie!

Jaibee’s challenge

Kasia December 22nd, 2008

One of the things I love the most about Jaibee (and there are a lot of things) is that she comes up with ideas like this:

Oh, and a challenge — should you choose to accept it:
There have been a lot of blog postings about things wedding-related. My challenge to you, to help prepare you for this sacrament which will change your life forever, is to — from now until the day of your wedding — post once a day something about your fiancé (why you love him, what characteristics you find particularly endearing, etc.) Something positive, and something about this man whom you are about to give your entire self to. I would also recommend this to the Canuck, to do on his blog. Even if it is only a sentence right before bed when you are about to pass out, to help focus not on the stress of the day-to-day and the last minute details, but to re-focus yourselves, each day, on the reason for all the plans.

Go! )

I think it’s a fabulous idea.

So my first posting on this challenge is for today, Day…33? (Checking TheKnot.com…yup, T minus 33 days and counting…)

One thing I love about the Canuck is how self-sacrificing he can be. And I don’t just mean for me, though he’s exceptionally generous in that respect. No, I’m thinking of the wedding he was asked to stand up in in October.

The groom was one of his best friends – possibly best friend – and asked him to be best man. Sweetie was honored. Then the friend e-mailed him and said, in essence, “I hope you don’t mind, but I reeeeeeally want us to wear kilts.”

Kilts.

Sweetie doesn’t even wear shorts of his own volition. And much as he’s a sweet and sensitive guy, he is 100% a guy. I think it’s fair to say he was less than thrilled.

However, he sighed, shook his head, and wrote back: “It’s not what I’d pick, but it’s your wedding.”

And he rented the $200+ kilt.

And he wore it.

And if at any point he thought anything other than “It isn’t what I’d pick, but it’s not my wedding,” he never breathed a syllable to the groom.

Because fundamentally, his primary concern was not whether he would have preferred to have worn pants. His primary concern was doing everything in his power to make sure his friend and his friend’s fiancée had their day go the way they wanted it to.

(And hey – what goes around comes around – the guys in our wedding, including this guy, are wearing berry, rose and mauve ties and mauve pocket squares. Though that wasn’t done intentionally – it’s just what worked with the bridesmaid dresses and the suits. No, really!)

So: my sweetie, thank you for putting J. and H. and their wedding above your own preferences. And if I may reiterate what I said that day, however you might have felt, you looked darned good!

 

A quick update before bed

Kasia December 21st, 2008

Mmm, where to begin?

The car, of course. The car.

Well, it wasn’t cheap, and Canuck and I were initially of different opinions as to whether to repair or replace. However, we agreed that we’d seek my father’s input – he’s dealt with a lot of car issues in his time, and we both have a high regard for his opinion. He advised repair, under the circumstances, so we’ll be hoping that Sue the Blue Subaru limps along for another  year or so or until a little Clamuck appears, whichever comes sooner. (I can suffer through driving around Detroit in 85-degree-plus sauna heat with no air conditioning, and in fact have done so for a couple of summers now, but I’m not making a baby deal with that.) And Dr. Mabuse – in response to  your comment…I know it’s hard to believe, given their fiscal situations, but if the Big Three are giving away free cars to random Detroiters, I haven’t heard about it yet…  :-p

In other delightful fiscal news, you can imagine how pleased I am to report that my stove seems to have a slow gas leak. I smelled gas in the kitchen this evening after my parents left. “Hmm,” thought I, “that smells a lot like gas. It’s been an awfully long time since I smelled it, but I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m smelling…”

So I ventilated the kitchen for a bit (in five degrees above zero, that’s no fun) and then checked again. Just to make sure it wasn’t some little glitch. Nope – still smelled it, and it seemed to be coming from a stove burner. Hadn’t been using the stove, mind you, but that’s where it was.

Called Consumers Energy (I was a little embarrassed to have the gas guy come out when I was wearing candy-patterned fleece pajama pants, but hey, they were warmer than jeans would’ve been) and waited for the tech. Nice guy. He couldn’t find a leak big enough to set off his detector, but he smelled it too, so he popped the top off the stove and looked underneath.

One of the burner connections was taped.

Nice.

I don’t know much about electrical tape and gas stoves, but I don’t think electrical tape is rated for gas stove burners. Maybe I’m wrong. But he didn’t seem to think it was an especially good idea either…

CE guy turned off the gas to the stove and went on his way – I wished him a merry Christmas and gave him a little box of chocolates I had around. Figured it’s a flippin’ cold night and he could use the calories; and like I said, he was nice. It’s got to be a rotten job to have the night shift on, and he had to go back to his truck to get a wrench to turn off my gas because it was on so tight.

Isn’t it funny how, when your stove isn’t working, all the things you have in your fridge that require the burners or the oven just call your name? I had bought some brie and canisters of croissant dough, and I have butter and brown sugar in the house – I was just drooling over the prospect of baking that up, but not really feasible with no gas (and not worth the risk of blowing the place up anyway). So I had pre-made rice pudding for dinner – not one of my more nutritious meals, but I think I’ll survive, don’t you?

Anyway. Canuck did some quick online browsing on stoves and found some possibilities. He’s going to do some research tomorrow and the next day, and hopefully we can buy the stove this weekend after he moves here Friday.

Yes, Friday!!! I know I just saw him today, but I can hardly wait for him to be here full-time! I’m taking a Greyhound from Detroit to Chatham on Christmas Eve morning, and am spending Christmas Eve and Day with him and his mother. Then on Friday, Boxing Day, we rent a U-Haul, load up his stuff, drive here, and that’s it! Wow. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s rare for something to be easy that’s also worth having.

More tomorrow…I am going to snuggle down in bed and rejoice that I have heat, fleecy jammies with candy patterns, flannel sheets, and two big lumps of cat flesh to give me extra KTUs (that’s Kitty Thermal Units, if you didn’t know) on such a bitter cold night. I can’t imagine being homeless on a night like tonight, or even with shut-off heat. If you can spare a prayer or two for everyone who is without a home and heat tonight, I think it would be well worth saying.

My great-grandfather was right…

Kasia December 15th, 2008

Cars really DO eat at the table with you!

As many of you know, I live in the Motor City. I have gone without a car before in this area. I’d rather not repeat the experience, even though I now live a block away from a very nice supermarket and could get to work via public transit (an hour and a half each way, but at least possible).

About a week ago I had an issue with the car freaking out and running frighteningly rough. You know, where you’re really glad you have a seat belt because the horses powering your engine have suddenly turned into bucking broncos? Like that. But it worked its way out, my father speculated that it might have been a gas line freeze (as it was quite cold and I had, foolishly, let my tank dip below 1/4), and I went on my merry way.

This morning it happened again. BUT this morning it was about 40 degrees Fahrenheit. It could’ve been moisture, but definitely not a freeze; and since I had half a tank of gas still, that still seemed unlikely. So I called AAA, borrowed TBS’ car for the day, and am now trying very hard to leave this in the God Box. I would much rather not have to buy a car right about now, especially given how much belt-tightening we’re already going to have to do for the first few months that Canuck lives here, but we’ll see what we have to do. I keep telling myself (with prompting from my beloved Canuck) that it could just be spark plugs…and keep trying to ignore the little voice whispering that the timing belt is overdue for a change and the axle boots need replacing…

BUT – God who does not forget the sparrows is not going to forget us. He’ll take care of it one way or another. I just need to accept that I’m not in charge of the situation, which is exceptionally difficult for me to do.

Small victories

Kasia December 14th, 2008

My parents left here about an hour ago. My dad didn’t have a lot to occupy him, but my stepmother positively flew (and kept me running after her). Result: progress on the home front.

Then I talked to my beloved for most of the last hour. Result(s): a happier Clam, some improved detail planning for the move (scheduled for December 26), and sundries like the knowledge that “iKonceive” is not software that we will recommend to anyone for their NFP charting. The file was GONE. Fortunately, (a) it was only a week’s worth of data, and (b) I had kept the data here as a backup (albeit a very imperfect one). So we will not be flying completely blind and effectively playing reproductive Russian roulette (or Catholic roulette, if you prefer) on the honeymoon. Not that it would be so terrible if we were to conceive on the honeymoon – but ideally we would like for him to find a job first, and he won’t have permission to work in the U.S. for two or three months. We’ll see what happens, though – you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

More later, probably tomorrow…

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