So. Ten things I’d like to see in action. This has been a challenging one…not just to come up with ten things, but only ten things, ten things that no one else has mentioned, and also to hopefully not have to confess anything on the list when I’m next celebrating the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I’m not sure I did so well on the last part…

1) Paris Hilton as a deckhand on The Deadliest Catch. Preferably with her inheritance being contingent on a favorable review from the captain and the rest of the crew. And automatic failure if anyone gets washed overboard as a result of her incompetence. Even if she’s the one who gets washed overboard.

2) A reality show wherein our elected leaders (bare minimum: House, Senate, and President, though state and local leaders and the SCOTUS members would be a welcome addition) have to survive for three months on the average U.S. salary and in an average-sized U.S. home. No credit cards, no HELOC. TBS got mad at me because that was originally her idea. Nothing in the meme says it has to be my original idea. But in the spirit of fair play, and since I didn’t think to give her credit, I change this to: “How fast Congress would jump to fix Social Security if they and their loved ones had to live on it.”

3) Stephen Harper and Barack Obama cage-fighting. Yes, I’m being facetious. But it would be interesting to watch their techniques and see who ultimately won…Tell you what: I’d settle for watching them debate each other on the merits of Canada’s social welfare system. Hint: in this case, the Canadian is going to be less enamored of it than the American.

4) Sara and her beloved actually going through with that Inquisition-themed wedding reception.

5) Kit’s middle child doing one of her Fatima impressions. (Too cute!)

6) Fr. Erik’s skate-punk trap. (Schadenfreude…)

7) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s face when Christ returns in glory. Ideally with a slo-mo freeze-frame option.

It isn’t so much that I want him to go to Hell or anything – I pretty much have to hope that everyone will be saved. I just want to see him realize that the Jews are still “the apple of God’s eye” (as Casper ten Boom so aptly put it). Oh, and it would be nice if God granted him a vision that confirmed that yes, the Holocaust actually happened. And that it was wrong. [wry smile]

8 ) Mac’s infamous worst-hair day. I just am having trouble wrapping my brain around how awful it must truly have been.

9) Jesus saying to me “Well done, thou good and faithful servant…” (As opposed to “Begone from me, you wicked servant,” of course.) Hey, there had to be something serious in this list!

10) A Catholic bloggers’ convention. Bring your dog(s). Lots of liquor, ice cream, Land Shark lagers, chocolate, salt licks, and brown sugar bacon snacks. Mmm. Kit can come up with the menu, provided Wiley doesn’t eat it first. We can make commemorative rosaries with the Exterminatrix of Heresies as the centerpiece…

Let’s see…who hasn’t done this? I tag TBS, Canuck, Foxfier, and Heather Siekierski. And anyone else who wants to play.

I tag: Jaibee, Jill (in the combox is fine), The Canuck, Heather Price, and Heather Siekierski (a.k.a. Mrs. Kheldar).

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

Now, first I have to admit that I’m cheating on this, because I saw it this morning at home, and probably really should’ve done it there. But the thing is, my office at home has books stacked on the desk, on the floor, etc. as part of this massive book-purge I’m doing, and there were easily half a dozen books that were roughly equidistant from me. So I’m doing it at work, and I’m intentionally skipping over the shelf of reference books (particularly since a lot of them are in Italian or Latin, or do not involve true sentences, i.e. the Kenedy Directory), and skipping right to an actual BOOK that I actually bought to read on my lunches, Visits to the Most Holy Sacrament and to Most Holy Mary by St. Alphonsus de Liguori. No, I’m not trying to show off; if you’d rather, I could reach twice as far and pull out Emily Post. No? I thought not.

It does include portions of two paragraphs…

It asks for the grace not to be numbered among these ungrateful people, for the gift of a deep love for the Blessed Sacrament, and for help to love him more deeply. The prayer to Mary uses a verse from the Song of Songs, a spurious saying of St. Ignatius of Antioch (ca. 37 – ca. 107) and a saying from St. Ephrem to describe Mary as a powerful defense against the powers of evil for all who have recourse to her.

In the Office of the Most Holy Sacrament the Church sings: “There is no other nation so great that has gods as near to it as our God is near to us.”

And there you have it.

Jaibee already tagged The Canuck and Jill, so…I tag The Big Seester, Julia, DJ, Mrs. Kheldar, and…um, a lot of people have already been tagged for this, so how ’bout we leave it at four?